Indecision Paralysis

by Denee Dole, a soon to be reformed chronic contemplator

So many ideas. So many decisions. So little time.

I stared at the paint chip. Day after day. Was it the right color for the walls? Did I like it? Would I regret it? After about a month, yes that long...maybe longer, completely drenched in indecision paralysis, I finally decided yes to the paint color. My husband painted the living room, and to my horror, I hated it. And I hated it for years until we had to repaint the walls, in order to move. I've always struggled with indecision paralysis. Should I or shouldn't I? Chronic contemplation...keeps you stuck!

Most decisions will not hold you back, even if they feel wrong after you decide to move forward with it. Mexican or Italian tonight?? But indecision will keep you hungry. I'm learning to fail, to regret, to reconfigure, and to try, try again. And again if necessary. You see, I learned early on, " If you can't do it right the first time, then don't do it at all." Create perfection out of the gate, or you're a failure and a loser. For so many years, I've been lost in the pursuit of perfection time and time again--afraid of failure, that the learning and process, progress weren't valuable. So, if I couldn't do it right...why bother, so at times I haven't bothered. Or if the idea, project, or event required too much of me to perfect...even a conversation...I'd just leave it hanging. And be haunted by it, especially those house projects I jumped into after chronically thinking about them for months.

I've never written a blog piece before, but here I am. Is it good enough? Perhaps I should rewrite it a dozen times. I saw a post that said this:

"A mistake that cost me five years: Thinking preparation was progress. Reading every book. Taking every course. Planning every detail. Meanwhile, someone dumber than me started badly and figured it out. Preparation feels productive but its often just fear dressed up as strategy. You learn to swim by getting in the water, not by studying water. " @scottdclary

That resonated with me. In other words, all that overthinking will get you nowhere and fast. Here I am, doing something I'm unsure of. Painting the wall a color I may have to live with, possibly with regret. You know what...It's ok to regret a decision. The idea is to move in a direction of growth. Learn from that decision, that you prefer Mexican over Italian food. And go choose another paint color.

P.s. I didn't even rewrite this once.

Still Becoming,

Denee

Becoming Integrative Health & Wellness Coaching

www.becomingreimagined.com

Breathe, LLC

This picture is AI, but the color is similar to what I picked for my living room all those years ago. It was supposed to be a beautiful latte brown, and it came out mauve, brownish/purple. Mauve. I'm still triggered by this color.